happy 1 month, hayden!

Today Hayden is 1 month!! Arrgghhhh! I cannot believe it has already been a month. It doesn't feel like it has been that long...it has gone by so fast. I love watching her develop her little personality. I love sitting there just talking to her in my stupid high pitched voice, and watching her laugh and smile at me. Once we get her formula, and her possible reflux situation under control, everything will be perfect. I just hate seeing her in what to seems pain. She is a content and happy baby, so if she is screaming I know something is definitely wrong. I have to make her pediatrician appointment, so I plan on asking him what he thinks. From everything I have read it definitely sounds like she has silent reflux.

Anyway, here are some 1 month pictures!

her little faces

I love her cute little faces she always makes. She puts a smile on my face and makes me laugh everyday.

four weeks

Today Hayden is 4 weeks old! She'll be a month old in just 2 days. I cannot believe it has already been a month since I gave birth to the most beautiful girl ever. She has brought such joy, and happiness to my life. I now have a completely different outlook on everything. She is definitely the best thing to ever happen to me, and pretty much happened at the best time in my life when I needed her most. Sure, my situation isn't ideal being single and all, but I am now a true believer that everything happens for a reason. We both have such a great support system from my family, and from all my wonderful friends. It is just crazy to wake up everyday and have her next to me knowing that she will forever be with me, and forever be my daughter. I'll forever have the privilege of watching her grow, and turn into this beautiful girl that I created.

I have definitely gotten lucky. She is such a good baby. I was a little worried at first knowing that I was doing this all on my own if I was going to have sleepless nights, or become overwhelmed since I had no one here by my side. However, she has been the perfect baby since day one. We get up one time at night, and it really isn't even nighttime anymore when we first wake in the morning, it is usually around 5 or 6am already. Then we sleep in until 11, or even sometimes noon. She is just like her momma and loves her sleep! Phew! We get up and then do our own thing. We'll go shopping, out to eat with friends, go to my mom's pool. I am not one to stay cooped up in the house for too long, and I think all the interaction she can get with people and going places is good for a baby.

The only struggle we've have so far is finding a formula that works for her. We started on similac advanced organic, but then I found out that they use sugar in their organic formula, so I ditched that. We then tried about similac soy isomil since I had an entire case of ready to feed 2oz bottles. That made her spit up and gave her bad gas, which then caused her to become fussy at times. I then tried similac sensitive, and it made her spit up as well, almost after every feeding. When I would mix it up it was SO foamy, and had a ton of bubbles. When she would get done eating you couldn't even see through the bottle liner because it was full of bubbles still. I then started to read a lot of good things about gerber goodstart gentle. I went out and bought some, and the spit up stopped. She seemed to be doing good on it but I noticed her poop was starting to become more solid, which is not how a newborn's poop should be. After about 5 days on the formula when she would poop they would be very firm balls of poop. Every time she would poop it seemed like a challenge for her, and sometimes it would make her cry and she doesn't cry. So, now here we are trying out enfamil gentlease. So far, things seem really good, but it was only been 2 days. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is the last formula I have to switch her to.

Things we love -

• Boppy Pillow
• Boppy Newborn Lounger
• Soothie Pacifiers
• Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper
• Snugabunny cradle swing
• Playtex Drop-In bottles
• Bambino Land Muslin Swaddling Blankets (SO soft!)
• Carter's burp cloths (much softer then gerber's)

Our new toy - The Infantino deluxe monkey jungle retreat gym. So far she seems to love it!

She is still in NB clothes and diapers. Size 1 diapers are big, but I really don't want to buy another case of NB only to not be able to use them all, so I think after we're done with the case we have now, we'll be moving on to size 1. NB clothing fits her pretty good, but the 0-3 month clothes are HUGE! Some of the newborn sleepers she is getting too long for, so she may have to swim in the 0-3 month sleeps for a little bit.

And now here are some weekly pictures, even though I've taken a picture of her everyday of her life so far, and plan on doing that for a LONG time!!


1 day old


1 week


2 weeks


3 weeks


4 weeks

grocery store trip!

I did it! I faced my fear and made our first trip to the grocery store. I was scared she would have a nervous break down in the middle of shopping or at the check out line. She did wonderful though!! She slept for about the first 20 minutes, and then was awake the rest of the time. She loves to look around and take in everything around her, you can just see the amusement in her eyes. We even had a little bit of fun in the hair care aisle.





And being extra good in the cart!

first doctor's appointment

Today Hayden had her first doctor's appointment! She was SOOOO good! She didn't cry or fuss, and was even complimented by the nurse as to how calm she was, and how good of a baby she was. I was of course a proud momma! Before we left for the DR office though she peed all over the couch! Lol. I turned to wrap the dirty diaper and wipe, and grab a fresh diaper only to look over and see her peeing all over the cushion. Thank you to whomever made removable microfiber couch cushion covers that are washable!

She was 6lbs 10oz when we left the hospital on Saturday down from 7lbs 2oz. The pediatrician said that was a normal weight loss for a newborn, especially one being breastfed. At her doctor appointment she was back up to 7lbs 1oz. She had slight jaundice when she was born, nothing noticeable. I couldn't even see the yellow but apparently they could, but I'm sure they have better lighting in the nursery. The nurse checked her with this light, and said that her jaundice is nothing to worry about and was very little. This was another reason why the peditrician in the hospital suggested I supplement with some formula until I had gotten my milk in. The one thing that did really surprise me was as soon as the nurse saw that she was wearing pampers, she acted like I was using a cardboard box for diapers. She immediately told me to ditch pampers. I was shocked, as I've heard that pampers is much better then huggies. I've been using both, and so far have had a poo leak on each. The nurse said that she sees more diaper rashes from pampers then any other diaper. I'm of course going to use my own judgement on this, as every baby is different. So far she is rash free, and has been doing well in pampers and huggies. Although right now I do like the huggies better because they have the cord cut out which is pretty nice. Anyway, now in order to get in with this pediatrician permenately I have to be approved. I have to call my insurance company and they have to fill out some paperwork, and then it goes through some panel and then they tell me whether or not I'm approved. It seems a little drastic just for a pediatrician, but I really liked him in the hospital, really liked the office, and nurses. So we'll see if my baby is "good enough" to be approved to see this pediatrician, lol.

welcome to the world hayden ann!

She's finally here, and absolutely perfect! I didn't even have to be induced, my body did it all on its own the day before my induction (she must have known I was really bummed out about having to be induced). I can't even begin to tell you the joy she brings me! Here is how everything all played out -

Thursday, June 3oth

11am - Woke up with cramping, nothing unusual. My best friends texts me asking if I was having any contractions at all, and I annoyingly told her no, just the usual annoying cramps! Around 11:45 I finally get out of bed (hey, it was my last day of complete freedom! I was taking it easy!). I had a DR appointment at 1pm for a NST, which I thought was kinda dumb considering I was being induced the very next morning, but if the DR felt it was necessary I guess I should probably go. As I was getting ready to get in the shower I had a contraction...no biggie, I have contractions everyday at this point. As I'm showering I'm noticing that they keep coming, okay, that's different, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I get ready, and I'm still having them...now I'm starting to think maybe this is it.

1pm - I get to the DR office, and I'm still having contractions, and this is definitely the first time I've had consistent contractions lasting for more then an hour, so I'm starting to get a little excited that this might be the real thing. I go in for my stress test, and tell the nurse that I had been having contractions since around 11am. She says after the stress test, she'll check me to see if I've dilated anymore since Tuesday when I was 1-1 1/2 CM dilated. During the stress test I noticed that they were getting stronger. As I was waiting for her to come back in to check me I was standing because it seemed more comfortable that way. I noticed that when I did have a contraction I tended to go up on my tippy toes so I knew they were most definitely getting stronger and it wasn't just my imagination. The nurse comes back in to check me and says I am now 3-4 CM dilated and about 50% effaced. I was really excited to hear this! So, she tells me to head on over to the hospital because my DR was already there with another patient that had gone into labor that morning because she thinks that this is the real thing.

3pm - I come home, pack my bag, take care of the dogs, eat a little something, I had barely ate anything at this point because I was being so lazy, and put away the load of towels that were in the dryer, haha. My mom gets to my house and then we head on over to the hospital. I didn't want to rush to the hospital and sit there all day and night when I could have spent some of that time at home doing things my way.

4pm - Sitting in the triage getting my contractions monitored, the nurse comes in and checks me, she said I was still 3-4CM, but like a 4, but almost completely effaced now, and my contractions were strong, consistent, and lasting over a minute. She then admits me to labor and delivery.

5pm - In L&D and contractions are getting stronger and are about 2 minutes apart, but then I would have a small contraction (that still hurt!) in between my "real" contraction...so I was contracting just about every minute, and they were lasting over a minute. At times I would tense up pretty bad, and hold my breath, haha. The nurse was like don't forget to breath through them! Once I started breathing through them, and not tensing up so much, they were better, but still hurt pretty bad!

6pm - At this point I'm not considered in active labor. I labor on the yoga ball for about a hour or so, it helps with taking the pressure off my butt, and is pretty comfortable. They didn't want me walking to much because my bag was bulging, and they didn't want it to break just yet if they could help it in fear that I would progress too quickly, and my DR wasn't quite ready to deliver a baby at this time. I didn't really want to walk either because I felt like I really couldn't through contractions, but I didn't want to being laying down either! So, the ball was perfect, and I would highly recommend using it while in labor.

7pm - When I get back up in the bed I feel a gush, but I didn't know if it was my bag or just a lot of discharge, because even though I had lost some of my plug the previous Friday, I was still losing a lot of it now, but whatever it was, it was a lot! I tell the nurse, and she decides to check me again. I'm at 7cm now, and my water breaks. I almost felt like my contractions were better after my water broke instead of stronger...who knows. When my water broke the nurse says that Hayden had passed meconium in the placenta so they would have a neonatologist present during the birth to see her immediately to make sure none of it gets in her lungs, and if it does to get it out quickly as possible. She says it appears to be moderate. I was a little worried because I know it isn't good when they pass meconium in the placenta, and the fact that it was moderate. She says it happens a lot with post term babies, and assures me the neonatologist will be able to handle it. I was confident that they would definitely be able to handle something like this, but of course still worried.

Things are moving along pretty quickly, and I realize I should probably decide on whether or not I should get an epidural. I figured I've dealt with the pain this long, I can keep doing it, but DO I want to keep working through this pain. Then I start to think about how tired I am now, and how much work it is going to be pushing her out, and it would be nice to be able to have a hour of just relaxing. So, at a little after 9pm I decided to get the epi...

9pm - I get the epidural, which didn't hurt. It was just a pinch, and I started feeling less and less of my contractions. My left half was TOTALLY numb, my right side was numb as well but I could still feel contractions in my right side, but it wasn't bad. By 9:30 I was 9CM, and at 10:20pm the nurse said it was time to start pushing!

10pm - I start pushing, and boy was I glad I had that hour to relax! I then realize getting the epidural was a good decision. It was hard work! I have a mirror so that I can see everything, it was pretty awesome! After about an hour of pushing they yell STOP STOP STOP! I almost pushed her out!

11pm - All of a sudden all these people come in, and within minutes are ready to get to work, I was amazed at how quickly they got everything ready. Now, the REAL pushing was about to begin. I remember looking in the mirror thinking - holy shit, how am I going to get that HEAD outta there!! After about 20 minutes, and a couple of dips in her heart rate - nothing serious. The DR gets out the vacuum! Arrgghhhhh! I didn't want that think sucking my babies head!! So I just found it some where within me to push as hard as I could because that vacuum was going no where near my baby's head! I thought the vein in my head was going to explode! They didn't even get that vacuum hooked up yet, and I had her out at 11:36pm! Well I had to stop after her head so they could suck her mouth quickly because of the meconium. Once the DR sucked her mouth a few times and clamped everything I gave one more quick push to get the rest of her out...that part was easy! Then they had to take her right away and make sure there was no meconium in her lungs, so I didn't get to see her immediately, but obviously her health was more important. Her body temperature was also a little low, so they wanted to warm her up while caring for the meconium issue. It seemed like hours, but within 10 minutes I had her in my arms, and it was the most amazing thing ever. I had no words, or thoughts...I was just sitting there in complete awe. I just kept thinking...I did it! I can't believe she is finally here, and I cannot believe I made THAT...the most beautiful thing in the world! I felt very proud of myself, and knew that a completely new chapter in my life had just started.