life doesn't always play fair

I realized a while ago that life doesn't always play fair. I realized this when my papa was diagnosed with alzheimers. The disease isn't fair. It isn't fair to them, and it isn't fair to their loved ones. Just a little over a year ago it went from moderate to terrible. He doesn't know who anyone is, let alone who he is. My pop is my hero. He was there when my father never was. He did everything for me, and I know he loved me more then anything else. When you see those movies, pictures, tv shows, etc. that show the little girl following their dad around in admiration...well that was my papa and I. I didn't have a dad, so he was my dad. Now he doesn't even know who I am. I've learned to somehow accept that, even though it is like you grieve their "death" every time you see them. Now it is just hard to accept the fact that he'll never know my daughter. He'll never see her grow up, and she'll never get a chance to know the greatest man ever. It just isn't fair. I always pictured him one day walking me down the aisle "giving me away", and him having a great relationship with my kids. It is hard to know that none of that will ever happen. No one really knows what I go through, mostly because I try to pretend like it doesn't affect me like it does. One thing people say that really gets to me is - "well, at least you still have him", well I really don't. I don't have my pop. When I am around him I barely talk to him, because I can hardly stand it. I can't stand to see him talking in these ridiculous circles talking so crazy, and then asking who I am every 2 minutes, asking if Hayden is my baby, and if she is a boy or girl, and if she is a real baby. It is tough.

I'll just never get why this kind of thing happens. How do you deal with something like this? I wish I knew.