dating after baby

Dating after baby is definitely A LOT different. Well, it isn't like I have a whole lot of experience doing so, but there is so much more to think about. I have to be a lot more careful about who I choose to surround myself with because of Hayden. In a way I have to think about her more then I do myself. She of course is the first person I think about because if they are not comfortable with being around her, or if I don't see myself comfortable with them being around her then, well, there really is no point on wasting my time with that person. I've only gone out a couple of times with a guy, who I've known and have been friends with for almost 2 years. He is well aware of the whole situation with Hayden, and absolutely adores her. I obviously made a poor decision in the past...not that I would go back and do any of it differently because I got the best thing that has ever happened to me out of it, however, for Hayden's sake I do wish it worked out differently with her "sperm donor". I can't bring myself to say her father, because he isn't, and never will be. There isn't much I can do it about it now, except be smarter in my decisions, and with the people I allow into my life. The one guy who I've been talking to understands where I am coming from when I tell him that it is going to take some time for me to be 100% emotionally available again. It'll happen, it's just going to take a little extra work on my part, and on his as well. And if they're willing to go that extra mile, it just goes to show that they truly do care, and they are a good person. I do notice a difference within myself then how I was in the past, I can tell I have a wall up, and it is not going to be easy to let someone completely in again, but I am confident I'll be able to, with the right person. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I feel like I needed that change. However, I have a good feeling with how things are going so far. It really helps that I've known him for a couple of years, and he isn't just some guy I just met. I love when we are spending time together and he'll sit there and hold Hayden, or if she starts fussing he'll get up and go see what is wrong...she obviously doesn't freak him out, and he is completely comfortable around her, which is super important.

It is really nice to feel "normal" again, and not feel like damaged goods, lol. Being pregnant and single the entire time was kind of rough, but I survived, and I know things will work out for me...because I deserve it!